


Somebody To Love

by girl_next_door_writes



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 22:31:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17109365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girl_next_door_writes/pseuds/girl_next_door_writes
Summary: Everyone has a soulmate, apparently, but what is Steve missed out on his?  What if this constant half song in his head is all it will ever be?





	Somebody To Love

Steve Rogers wanted so desperately to find love. The cheesy love songs on the radio seemed to taunt him. The romantic comedies played at movie night as he was surrounded by people fortunate enough to already have found their soulmates, only made him feel even more alone. It was like he had a song in his head, familiar but just out of reach, the melody missing, that something that would make it spectacular. Tony had described finding Pepper like seeing the world in a previously undiscovered colour. Scott and Hope said it was more like tasting their favourite meal a new as if prepared by the finest chefs. Each pairing seemed to have a unique experience, the only thing everyone could agree on was that it had something to do with one of the five senses. For some it was touch, others smell, Steve suspected his was something to do with this damned song.

Each morning he would get up, his feet hitting the cool floor always sending a shiver through his body. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes with one hand he would use the other to scratch his head, ruffling his hair even more than it was already. The weight of loneliness weighed heavier on his shoulders each morning he woke without his elusive mate beside him, and he truly believed one day he wouldn’t even be able to stand. 

Shuffling to the bathroom he leaned on the basin and looked up into the mirror. With a sigh, he surveyed the latest damage of the ravages of time. More wrinkles furrowing his brow, perhaps he should grow the beard back in. “Just look at me. Seriously. I don’t know if you’re up there, big guy, but I have spent so many of my years believing in you and I just really hope you’re gonna pull it out of the bag sometime soon because that faith I got is kinda wearing a little thin.” His voice was low and thick with sleep as he prayed to whatever god might actually take an interest in him. Was it too much to ask to find someone who he could love and would love him and want to spend the rest of their lives together? It was getting harder to hold onto the hope it might happen for him. 

Throwing himself into his work he tried his best to ignore the song in his soul. He pushed himself hard, not caring if he lived or died. Each mission punishing him more. His bones ached and his body tried to protest but he needed something to try and fill the gaping void that seemed to be expanding like a black hole and sucking in any small amount of happiness he could have. There were nights where he cried himself to sleep. Maybe he missed his chance, his love had been and gone while he slept in the ice. Maybe his soulmate had lived their life in this same perpetual torment, unable to find him, unable to reach him.

Each day was another trial. Each morning he would start again. His feet hit that floor and the same shiver ran through him. He peeled himself up off the bed and headed to the bathroom. The same desperate prayer as he looked into the mirror. His days filled with anything to occupy his mind. He tried, he really fucking tried, but he was surrounded by people in love and it was driving him crazy. Nat and Clint, Tony and Pepper, Scott and Hope, Sam and Roxanne… Everywhere there were reminders that this miracle happened to everyone but him. The day Bucky burst into his room, clearly elated, Steve’s heart had sunk. He’d smiled at his old friend, congratulated him and listened to the myriad of details from their first meeting and how amazing it felt, like a weight being lifted, but all he really felt was jealous. He felt like an asshole for being jealous, like a whiney bitch wanting to know when it would be his turn, hadn’t he waited long enough?

It was as if his life was ever so slightly out of sync, like he’d lost the rhythm, and even though he put on a brave face he wasn’t sure how much longer his assertions that he was okay were going to hold up. He didn’t want to give up, just roll over and accept that it would never happen. Steve strongly believed that if he just had a little faith, if he believed in this enough that one day, he would be free from this pain, this anxiety, this loneliness.

Waking up with a groan, he wrinkled his nose before pulling himself up into a sitting position. Find me somebody to love. Rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, his other went to his hair, scratching the back of his head. Find me somebody to love. Twisting, his feet hit the cool floor and he shivered. Find me somebody to love. Something felt off, a little different, like there was a sense of anticipation in the air. Find me somebody to love. With a frown, he got to his feet and shuffled to the bathroom.

Washing his face with warm soapy water he found him tapping his foot in a steady beat. Find me somebody to love. Thinking nothing of it he rinsed his face and reached for his towel. Find me somebody to love. Wandering back into his room he went to grab some sweats, but something stopped him and instead he selected a pair of dark blue jeans. Find me somebody to love. He couldn’t say exactly why, but he picked out his light blue shirt that was just a little too tight and pulled it on over a white t-shirt. It was a far dressier outfit than he would usually select for a day mooching around the compound but as he looked at his reflection it made him smile. Find me somebody to love. Coffee. Coffee and bagels, that’s what he needed on this fine morning. 

Tapping his fingers against his thigh absentmindedly he made his way to the kitchen. Find me somebody to love. Sam and Bucky were already there arguing over who had eaten the last of the cereal as Nat looked on with a small smirk, shaking her head. “You met the new recruit yet Cap? Apparently, we needed a new ‘personnel’ officer.” Nat rolled her eyes. 

“It wasn’t my fault the last one went off with stress.” Bucky pouted. “I kept telling him I’m pretty much harmless now.”

Steve wasn’t really paying attention, the rhythm in his head echoing loudly. Find me somebody to love. Gripping the counter he scrunched his eyes closed, trying to get the music that… His eyes opened wide, the music was louder! That had to mean something, right? 

 

Turning to ask Nat, he froze as Tony walked in with the new P.O. in tow. You stopped, your eyes wide and in that instant he knew. The beat that had been a constant in his head suddenly burst into a fully realised song. There were lyrics and guitar riffs and drums and a bass and he knew, just from looking into your eyes that you heard it too. Swallowing thickly, he made his way over, ignoring Tony completely. When he was stood just inches from you his tongue quickly ran over his lips and he finally knew exactly what to say. “Hi. I’m Steve.”


End file.
